It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He better not be in your backpack
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
