It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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