How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
