worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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