Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
