I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Randomize
