I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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