I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
