Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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