I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Randomize
