I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
