Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
