halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
