i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
