how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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