To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
