Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
