I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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