Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
