is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
They are going to name an STD after you.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
