You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
