We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
