after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
