oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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