So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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