i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
