He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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