just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
