please come you make the beer taste better
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
