I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
