I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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