I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
