Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
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