Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
