I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
