New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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