There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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