Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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