Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
