he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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