We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
