You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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