i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
