Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize