Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
