You really coming over, don't trick.
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
