Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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