your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
