I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
