I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Randomize
