Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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