I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
