For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
