Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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