ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize