Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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