You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize