Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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