Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Floor bacon is actually really good
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
