just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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