In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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